Poems- of waiting for God's perfect will/purity

My Dear Wife,
I know that you don't know me yet, my dear.
But our Father Does,
And in time will make it clear.

For now, I want you to know
I am waiting for you.
Faithfully waiting 'til the day
The Lord makes one out of us two.

He's preparing us for each other,
Just keep this in mind.
In the future we'll look back
And see He was so kind.

In preparing us now,
Making us wait...
And remember, my beloved-
God is never late.

I'm praying for you
And I want you to know,
I'm keeping myself for you
For I love you so.

Wherever you are,
Remember that I'm waiting for you.
I hope and pray,
That you're waiting for me,too.

On this day for lovers,
Called Valentine's Day,
I want you to know
I love you, and will always.

So, I prayed a letter and
A kiss would blow your way,
Saying, I love you, darling.
Happy Valentine's Day!

-----Gretchen L. Glaser



I Am A Married Woman

I'm a married woman,
Most folks don't know it.
My body is my husband's.
I don't rightly own it.

No one else
Has any claim on me.
I am my husband's-
Don't touch his property.

Treat me like a married woman,
'Cause that's just what I am you see.
God has a husband picked out for me,
And I am waiting for him, faithfully.

So think of me as a sister-
Don't look at me lustfully.
I'm not a means for thrills.
I'm a married woman, you see.

I am not a toy to make you feel good,
I'm not a decoration for your arm
To make you look good,
I'm not yours to love or harm.

People talk about "free sex"
But there's no such thing with me.
Sex with me comes at a high price:
Lifelong marriage and fidelity.

I'll be your friend and sister
But nothing more.
My husband is the one
I am waiting for.

To be his and his only.
'Til death do us part.
I am committed to him.
With my body, mind, and heart.

So treat m like you would
If my husband was at hand.
Look at me with purity-
I am a married woman.

------Gretchen L. Glaser



My heart is like a geyser, Lord - warm feelings want to overflow.
But you would have me control them for now I know.

My heart wants to let go restraint, and fully burst out into love,
But You warn me to wait, and think of things above.

It's not time yet, So I must turn
My passions away, from the things I yearn,

And put my youthful energy into service for Thee.
Learning and growing daily-more of You in me.

Sometimes my heart threatens, and even bubbles o'er a bit,
But You tell me to hold on-it isn't time for that yet.

You need to complete Your work in single me
Before I can be joined with another in matrimony.

We're crossing the river at the same time, he and I-
But at different places and different depths. Why?

So we don't pull eachother down, but keep our eyes on You,
Learning of patience, true love, dedication and sacrifice, too.

And then, when it's time, all Heaven will watch in praise,
As two hearts become one, and we promise always.
--------Gretchen L. Glaser



Sometimes I ask the question, "my Lord, is this Your will?'
It's then I hear You answer me, "My precious child,... be still."

Sometimes I feel frustrated, cause I think I know what's best.
It's then I hear you say to me, "My busy child...just rest."

Sometimes I feel lonely and I think I'd like a mate.
Your still small voice gets oh so clear and says,"My child please wait."

"I know the plans I have for you, The wonderous things you'll see;
If you can just be patient, Child, and put you trust in Me.'

"I've plans to draw you closer. I've plans to help you grow.
There's much I do you cannot see and much you do not know."

"But know this, Child...I love you, you are precious unto Me.
Before I formed you in the womb, I planned your destiny."

"I've something very special I hope for you to learn,
The gifts I wish to give you are gifts you cannot earn."

"They come without a price tag, but not without a cost;
At Calvary, I gave My Son, so you would not be lost."

"Rest Child, and do not be weary, of doing what is good.
I promise I'll come back for you, just like I said I would."

"Your name is written on My palm, I never forget;
Therefore, do not be discouraged when My answer is...Not Yet."

----Unknown




If You Loved Me

"If you loved me you'd do it."

But what about me?
What about my feelings?
You know that I'm not ready,
That it goes against everything I believe.

"If you loved me you'd do it."

But what about me?
Am I not the special cherished person
That you profess me to be?
Are all the words you whisper
in my ears just sweet lies?

"If you loved me you'd do it."

But what about me?
Don't I deserve to be loved, honored
and cherished?
Am I only worth a heated moment in
the back seat?

"If you loved me you'd do it."

But what about me?
Is the love that God talks about only for others?
Can love only be patient, kind, and understanding
For everyone else?
Am I worth so little?

You say that you love me,
So answer this question :
If I am so worthless to you
That you would chance ruining my life
And breaking my heart,
Why do you want me at all?

--Jennifer Matthews



My gifts a secret,
hid beneath this golden foil and bow.
My Father wrapped it in His Love
for only one to know.
My gift is very precious
and the wrapping's precious, too;
The one without the other
spoils the mystery and the clue.
For though the pressure's strong
my God is with me from the start,
and He'll be there with me
when I give my love,
My Gift Wrapped Heart.

--------------Unknown



Sex...Is like a Gift Wrapped in Brown Paper

There's a beautiful gift inside
this package
It's wrapped for protection
Tied for security
Stamped: "Fragile!" "Handle
with Care!"
It's easy to loosen the strings
To let anyone tear away the
Wrapping
To give the gift without
commitment--
Offer it to the highest bidder,
Or hand it our as the prize for a game
There's a gift wrapped inside
this brown paper.
It's for keeps- not to be
Exchanged.
No deposit. Non returnable
It's a surprise.
A happy treat to be opened
By the person
To whom it's addressed
On the date marked
Forever

---Ruth Senter




First Kiss

Something so rare
So beautiful
More rare than virginity
So rare, so rare
A higher level of purity
So rare it's thought to be insane
Unachievable
Unpopular
Really, it's unappeciated
So rare...
Its value has almost been forgotten
Lost in the twisted way of things
It is so rare
But it can be found

Something that can only be
Given away once
It's a special gift
With a special meaning
Meant for one person
Choose carefully the time
The place
And the mate
Once it's gone
You can never get it back
A gift so precious
So personal
When you choose to give it
You're giving a part of you
Don't rush to give it away

Time, time...
Yes there is plenty of time
With time comes greater value
And appreciation
Time is our perception
Either we are patient
Or miserable
We can take the time to wait
And in waiting we can grow
Or give it away right now
And in time regret
Time, it never goes away
It just keeps going
And waiting never hurts

This valuable gift
I have chosen to save
It is tucked away
For my wedding day
Saved for one man
God has waiting
Waiting for me to come along
I've saved my precious gift
Of my "First Kiss"
Will he save his?

~Cassie




WAIT

Desperately, helplessly, lovingly, I cried:
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God relpied.
I plead and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said,
"Child you must wait."

"Wait? You say, wait? My indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have You not heard?
By faith, I have asked, and am claiming You Word.

My furture and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and YOU tell me to WAIT!
I'm needing a "Yes", a go-ahead sign.
Or even a "No" to which I can resign.

And Lord, You promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
"I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!"

Then quietly, softly, I learned my fate
As my Master replied once again,"You must wait."
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God,"So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed, then to kneel
And His eyes wept with mine.
And He tenderly said, " I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause the mountains to run.

All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be
You would have what you want-
But you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power I give to the faint;

You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me;
When darkness and silence were all you could see.

You'd never experience the fullness of my love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.

You'd never know, should the pain quickly flee,
What it means that,"My grace is sufficient for thee."
Yes, your dreams for your loved one
Overnight would come true.

But, Oh, the Loss! If I lost what I'm doing in you!

So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft' may My answers seem trribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, "Wait."

-----------Unknown




Your Perfect Will

Lord, You know I want Your perfect will for my life.
Be to somebody the perfect wife.
Can't wait till that special day, won't leave him till You take me away.
I know in Your time You will bring me the one.
I need Your guidance to help me wait till your done.
So, as I wait, I pray and meditate.

----------(Me)Karla

The Foolishness Of Man - the care & feeding of children

When I was born there was a philosophy of child raising influenced by a whole network of Maternal Welfare Centres in Australia under the umbrella of Dr Truby King. In this teaching, the newborn was "trained" to be fed every 4 hours on the dot, allowed to cry inconsolably when hungry yet allowed to run wild in the developing years. One did not want to hurt their little psyches by spanking or scolding.
My mother remembers only too well her niece who was sucking on her fingers and screaming for a feed but whose mother would let her scream until the clock said it was time for the next feed! She was a strict follower of the Truby King regime. By the time the baby was offered the breast (which was swollen with milk that would gush down the child's throat), she was usually too exhausted to suckle well and if she did, would be full of colic from all the crying.
My cousin grew up a chronic thumbsucker and a lonely and unhappy child. But a child who was allowed complete freedom- even to tap dancing on the top of her mother's white Queen Ann dressing table! At a time when a newborn should be taught to trust in a big world, and then how to love and form a deep abiding bond with its mother or carer, it was deprived of not only food but comfort! It learnt to be anxious and distrustful and unloving!
But at an age where the personality was developing and training could commence, the child was allowed full vent to emotion and desires and was allowed to run wild. These poor children were taught that instant gratification, disrespect of authority, people and their possessions and ultimate selfishness were their right. There were no boundaries and the child was unhappy and isolated. Parents of children being trained in the niceties and values of normal living rightfully didn't want their own children associating with them.
Ultimately, Truby King bred a generation of unhappy adults who knew nothing but self indulgence and that anarchy does indeed rule. How sad! How very contrary to God's way of raising children! I do not know what became of Dr Truby King perhaps he has passed on- but the legacy he has passed on to countless adults brought up under his spartan regime is appalling. How different these teachings are to the gentle rearing of our children under the admonition of the scriptures! How my heart yearns to be able to go back in time and comfort and feed the many infants starving for hours and fretting and to direct and gently guide the little children brought up under the teaching of these people! Yet many sincere and genuinely loving parents thought they were doing what was best for their children- unfortunately, they followed after the foolishness of man and against the knowledge of the Most High God.
I was fortunate to have a sensible God-fearing mother, but thousands weren't. It makes you wonder how each turned out as an adult doesn't it?

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

May Your Hope Chest B e Filled With Hope And Wisdom

Dear Handmaidens,

I remember when I was a newly-engaged girl, my mother and father provided a hope chest for me. We weren't very well off, but they acquired an old writing bureau which they kept in their bedroom for me as my own room was too small. This hope chest was filled gradually with all the usual things to ensure a well stocked home with crocks and linens. But I found this was not its primary purpose for me. It became my focus and purpose in life- reminding me of the task ahead of becoming mistress of my own home. Each time I added something to it, it filled my soul with longing for the day of marriage and hope for the future.

As I worked and saved for my wedding and new home, it became my anchor. Every kitchen article was added with dreams of me cooking delicious meals for my beloved. Each towel I folded filled me with visions of them flapping on the line and I would plan how to wash them properly and keep them soft and fluffy. Fluffy enough to wrap up my new baby after its bath. For every sheet and blanket focused me on the physical side of marriage filling my heart with the promise of children conceived in love. As I added to my picnic ware, my mind would race imagining flying kites, feeding the ducks by the pond and country drives with my husband and children ..life held great promise for me in that hope chest...and although mine was not a true hope chest- it was full of hope.

May your hope chest fill you with joy and hope- no matter what its actual appearance. May it fill you with hope for the future as you keep your eyes on Jesus whilst He seeks out your future husband. Let this be a time of joyful preparation for your high calling as a future wife and mother.


Glenys Robyn Hicks

“Wisdom hath builded her house, she hath hewn out her seven pillars” Proverbs 9:1

Some Quotes From Others

If monotony tries me, and I cannot stand drudgery;
if stupid people fret me and the little ruffles set me on edge;
if I make much of the trifles of life, then I know nothing of
Calvary love.... Amy Carmichael (1867-1951)

When God is about to do something great, He starts with a difficulty. When He is about to do something truly magnificent, He starts with an impossibility. --Armin Gesswein


Do you think that the work God gives us to do is never easy? Jesus says that His yoke is easy, His burden is light. People sometimes refuse to do God’s work just because it is easy. This is sometimes because they cannot believe that easy work is His work; but there may be a very bad pride in it. Some, again, accept it with half a heart and do it with half a hand. But however easy any work may be, it can not be well done without taking thought about it. And such people, instead of taking thought about their work, generally take thought about the morrow—in which no work can be done, any more than in yesterday.
---George Macdonald (1824-1905)


We have the means to evangelize our country; but they are slumbering in the pews of our churches.... ------Unknown

"The times are dark, the spirits of ruin are abroad in all their power, and the mercy of God alone can save us."-- President Abraham Lincoln, 1862


To laugh is to risk ... appearing a fool. To weep is to risk ... appearing sentimental. To reach out for another is to risk ... involvement. To expose feelings is to risk ... rejection. To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ... ridicule. To love is to risk ... being loved in return. To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk ... failure. But, risks must be taken, because the greatest risk of all is to risk nothing. Those who risk nothing ... do nothing, have nothing, are nothing. They may temporarily avoid suffering and sorrow, butThey cannot feel, learn, change, grow, live, or love. Chained by their certitudes, they become slaves Forfeiting their freedom. Only the person who risks is free.------Unknown

This Is An Email Some Man Received

I received this over email... it's almost too true... sad and pathetic to be funny, but I did laugh out loud at some of the titles---only because they so epitomize the "church" today. "In support of the new TNIV translation of the Bible, we are proud to release a new hymnal for churches that are changing their pew Bibles out to the new TNIV. The new hymnal, entitled "The Modern Evangelical Hym/Hernal" will be releasing shortly. The Politically Correct Hymnal was originally going to be called "The Modern Evangelical, Dispensational, Postmodern, Antinomian, Arminian, Gnostic, Middle Knowledge, Open Theistic, Non Denominational, Politically Correct Hymnal," but we felt we may have left some people out...

"Some of the fine classic hymns hand selected and rewritten for today's modern evangelical churches include...

• Amazing Choice
  How Great I Art
  When the Saints Go Retreating Back
  When We ALL Get to Heaven
  All Hail the Power of My Name
  Some of the Way, My Savior Leads Me
  Some to Jesus I Surrender
  And Can It Be, That I Should Earn
  Before Thee God, Who Knowest Some
  Blessed Possibility
  O Come All Ye Faithless
  Eternal Father Weak to Save
  We May Be Moved
  OK Is Your Faithfulness
  I Surrender Some
  It Is Swell With My Soul
  Backward Christian Soldiers
  Take My Life and Let Me Be
  The Lord is My Shepherd, I Always Want
  The New Hand Polished Cross (old and Rugged seemed so ... old and rugged sounding)
  There is a Bomb In Gilead
  Tis So Sweet to Trust in Me
  

For many Methodist and PCUSA Churches we included...

• She Leadeth Me
  She Lives She Lives
  She Will Hold Me Fast
  

And by popular demand, we have included a personal favorite...

• "I Did It My Way"

We even included many of the popular modern worship choruses ... and best of all, we didn't have to change the words!

PS: Thank you for your interest in the new "Modern Evangelical Hym/Hernal."

Sincerely,Fanny Wormwood Zonderban Publishing"

"The Church in thy house"--Philemon 2

Is there a Church in this house? Are parents, children, friends, servants, all members of it? or are some still unconverted? Let us pause here and let the question go round--Am I a member of the Church in this house? How would father's heart leap for joy, and mother's eyes fill with holy tears if from the eldest to the youngest all were saved! Let us pray for this great mercy until the Lord shall grant it to us. Probably it had been the dearest object of Philemon's desires to have all his household saved; but it was not at first granted him in its fulness. He had a wicked servant, Onesimus, who, having wronged him, ran away from his service. His master's prayers followed him, and at last, as God would have it, Onesimus was led to hear Paul preach; his heart was touched, and he returned to Philemon, not only to be a faithful servant, but a brother beloved, adding another member to the Church in Philemon's house. Is there an unconverted servant or child absent this morning? Make special supplication that such may, on their return to their home, gladden all hearts with good news of what grace has done! Is there one present? Let him partake in the same earnest entreaty.

If there be such a Church in our house, let us order it well, and let all act as in the sight of God. Let us move in the common affairs of life with studied holiness, diligence, kindness, and integrity. More is expected of a Church than of an ordinary household; family worship must, in such a case, be more devout and hearty; internal love must be more warm and unbroken, and external conduct must be more sanctified and Christlike. We need not fear that the smallness of our number will put us out of the list of Churches, for the Holy Spirit has here enrolled a family-church in the inspired book of remembrance. As a Church let us now draw nigh to the great head of the one Church universal, and let us beseech Him to give us grace to shine before men to the glory of His name.
----------C. H. Spurgeon

It Is Well With My Soul by Horatio Spafford (1828 - 1888)


When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;Whatever
my lot, Thou has taught me to say,It is well,
it is well, with my soul.

Refrain:

It is well, with my soul,It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials
should come,Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

Refrain

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,Is nailed to
the cross, and I bear it no more,Praise the
Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

Refrain

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,No pang shall be
mine, for in death as in lifeThou wilt whisper
Thy peace to my soul.

Refrain

But, Lord, ‘tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;Oh trump of
the angel! Oh voice of the Lord!Blessèd hope,
blessèd rest of my soul!

Refrain

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be
sight,The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;The
trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Refrain

Articles On Modesty - Why We Should Wear Dresses, Too

If you can't link these from here go to A christian home in the liks sections. When you get to the website go to modesty & clothing.

Christian Women Have an Obligation to Dress Modestlyan article by Michael Foust sharing Mary Mohler's views

Also, New! from Sovereign Grace: A check list for you... this is a simple list that will be of great help to you. This was list compiled by Carolyn Mahaney The Soul of Modesty by CJ Mahaney Additional comments by CJ Mahaney

Revive our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss (a radio program on modesty) More from Nancy DeMoss on Modesty Partial Disclosure=Exposure Nancy DeMoss


Modesty Susan Theall
The Reputation of a Godly Womanpamela spurling

The Appearance of a Christian Womanand her Reputation pamela spurling
God Drew The LineBy S. Franklin Logsdon

Modest Daughtersby *Douglas Wilson - Credenda Agenda*Warning... Doug Wilson sometimes appears to have a very "brash" style of relating issues and may seem tobe a bit too much for an overly sensitive type... powerful, good points, though.

Feminine AttireThe Modest Dress of a Womanpamela spurling
ModestyIncentives to Restoring Virtue in the Local Church -Harold Vaughan
NEW Growing Old GracefullyMrs. Amy Booker a quote from the article: "Do you want to be a feminine, pleasant, beautiful person when you are old? Be a feminine, pleasant, beautiful person now."

Christian Femininity: Are We Resigned or Excited?Elissa Kroeger[A very insightful article regarding the kind of dress women might wear and what it is saying to onlookers. You might be tempted to ask, are all dresses actually feminine or are some actually masculine? ---ps]
Stick to Your Standardsmomof9splace.com/standards.html

Bible Principles of Christian Dresshome.elp.rr.com/thechurch/gv-1.htm

New! Men or TREND Pleaserscrownedwithsilver.com/Men_Pleasers
NEW Modest Dress and Christian Femininity by Mrs. Traci Knoppe

Modest ApparelA sermon by J. Wayne McKamiePart One Part Two
Bible Guidelines About ClothingBruce Lackey
Is Wearing Dresses Only: Legalistic?by Mrs. Traci Knoppe
Developing Standards of Modesty in ChildrenSarah Eppes
Handmaid of the LordWhy Dress Modestly
What is Modesty?66.33.70.110/~amp/hw/whatismodesty.htm

Is Wearing Dresses Only: Legalistic?by Mrs. Traci Knoppe
Developing Standards of Modesty in ChildrenSarah Eppes
Handmaid of the LordWhy Dress Modestly
What is Modesty?66.33.70.110/~amp/hw/whatismodesty.htm
A conversation that might take place in your home:momof9splace.com/conversation.html

~Serious Faith~Modesty, Clothing and God - part oneModesty, Clothing and God - part two Modesty, Clothing and God - part threeModesty, Clothing and God - part four
NEW Biblical Modesty
NEW! Another Study in Dresshttp://www.blessedhope.org/studies/stl/lesson26.html
Modesty - Women's Apparel momof9splace.com/modesty.html
Should a Christian Woman dress in a... provocative Manner?

Warm Weather Modesty.computan.on.ca/~bvsprchr/modesty.htm
A Study in ModestyHow a woman should portray herself as a Christian
WHAT EXACTLY IS MODEST APPAREL IN THE BIBLICAL SENSE?ourworld.cs.com
Christian Dress and Adornmenta studyLight Ministries.com (posted 3-22-05)
Scriptures_Decree_Modesty_In_DressBy Norman Simpson
Christian Dress - part 1 Christian Dress - part 2 Mike Strevel - 1988 (posted 3-22-05)

ARE MEN LUSTING AFTER YOUR WIFE OR DAUGHTER?David Cloud
A Christian Lady's Dress & AppearancePastor Art Kohl
Modesty and the Christian WomanMrs. ML Chancey
Laurie MoyerNothing To Wear
What Do Your Clothes Say About You?
The Christian's Dress and Adornmentproject restore (posted 3-22-05)

Being Fruitful:A Biblical View of Birth Control by Philip Lancaster (Not for Children)

Within the family renaissance movement the issue of birth control has been one of the hottest topics. It is natural that those who are reevaluating their views of the family regarding such matters as education, roles of husbands and wives, socialization, immunizations, etc. would also grapple with the question of whether birth control is right for Christian families. And, indeed, the issue has been grappled with in books popular within the movement, most of which have at least seriously questioned the practice, some labeling it a "great sin." Many families have come to view a former decision to sterilize either the husband or wife as sin and have obtained surgical "reversals."
To properly evaluate an issue like this from a Christian perspective we need to ask ourselves, What does God in his Word have to say about it? But it may also be useful, first, to ask ourselves, What is the current consensus among Christians and how did they arrive at their point of view on this topic? We should always be ready to change our beliefs and practices if we find that they have been shaped by the world instead of the Word.
Most Christians today believe that the practice of birth control is OK, if indeed they have ever really thought about it. Safe to say, the average Christian who practices birth control could not give you a carefully reasoned biblical argument in favor of the practice. He just assumes it is a morally neutral issue. "After all, it is just the Catholics who oppose any form of artificial birth control, right?" Well, probably so, at least as far as major Christian groups are concerned. But the real question is, Where did the acceptance of birth control originate? Did it come from God and his Word, or is it another example of the world's perspective seeping into an unwary church?

The Abortion/Birth Control Connection
As we look at contemporary Western culture, one of its depressing characteristics is that it is pro-death. This should not be surprising. The Lord, speaking as Wisdom in Proverbs 8:36 says, "all who hate me love death." Our society has been steadily turning from God and showing its hatred of him in many ways. Not the least of these is the popularity of abortion as a way to solve difficult personal problems. The slaughter of the unborn baby is preferred to the challenge of caring for an inconvenient child.
It is disturbing to realize, moreover, that the culture which created abortion on demand is the same one that is in love with birth control. In fact, abortion is actually just another form of birth control and arose out of the same mindset. Behind both practices is the attitude that children are an inconvenience and that adults have the right to choose when and if to have any.
Disturbing, too, is the realization that both birth control and abortion have exactly the same effect (though substantially different means), namely, the prevention of another human being. The one kills the product of conception, the other prevents conception; but both aim to prevent the birth of a person. The failure to prevent conception has led many to murder the "mistake" that results. Isn't it reasonable to conclude that commonly behind both acts there is the same love of self and hatred of God? Has not the birth control mindset been the mother of the abortion mindset? Certainly the two are connected in our culture. Whether it is possible to separate the two is another question, but the connection should give Christians pause.
Surely all true Christians would agree that abortion is wrong, but how many of them are influenced by the same mindset that resulted in the abortion holocaust? How many have unwittingly breathed in the foul moral air of a death-loving culture and concluded that children are an inconvenience and parents have the right to decide if and when they want any? Unfortunately, most Christians still shrink in horror at the thought of a large number of children; and you hear comments in the church like: "Well, I know I've got all the kids I can handle," or "I can't wait for summer to be over so the kids can get back to school." The same anti-child attitude that plagues secular society has infected the church. This is just one of many areas in which the church is almost indistinguishable from the surrounding world. Instead of setting a shining example of how things ought to be, the church mimics a dying culture, and then wonders why it is so ineffective (didn't Jesus say something about salt losing its savor?).
So before even considering the biblical data, we ought to be suspicious of a practice that is so much at home in the anti-child, anti-life 1990's. It would be reasonable to conclude that Christians may have been led astray on this issue—unless, of course, the Bible gives warrant to the practice of birth control.
What exactly does the Bible say that bears on our issue? You will look in vain in your concordance for any entries under "birth control"—the same holds true for "abortion"—but the Scripture certainly speaks to both. When consulting God's Word on a matter like this it is important to realize that there are several ways in which the Bible can shed light on the subject. It may address it with an explicit precept, a clear command that speaks directly to it. It may give a general principle that must be applied with wisdom under the Spirit's guidance. Or it may display a pattern of life to follow through good examples that are approved (or evil patterns that are disapproved). Though the words "birth control" do not appear in the Bible, there are precepts, principles and patterns there to guide us.

Fruitfulness is God's Will for Marriage
The very first recorded words of the Creator to the man and woman he had made in his image were, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it" (Gen. 1:28). This precept was repeated after the flood to Noah and his sons: "As for you, be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth and increase upon it" (9:7). God's plan is that married couples multiply descendants to fill the whole earth.
Now, since we are (once again) infected with the world's perspective at this point, we are probably inclined to reason: "Sure, God told Adam and Noah to multiply because the earth was empty of people in both cases and they had to populate the planet from scratch; but we have plenty of people in the world today (maybe too many), so surely there is no need for multiplying children any more." But who are we to conclude the earth is "full" and God's command no longer applies? The fact is that the earth is far from full [see "Overpopulation: The Perennial Myth" elsewhere in this issue]. When and if the earth ever actually becomes full, we can trust God to deal with the situation his own way. Our job is to obey his commands.
Marriage is a "one flesh" union of a man and woman (Gen. 2:24). While this expression clearly means more than mere physical union it does include the physical union, and this union will result in the multiplication of children. Having a number of children is the normal fruit of marriage, and it is God's will for marriage. In 1 Timothy 5:14 the Holy Spirit through Paul counsels younger widows to marry and "have children." Malachi 2:15, referring to a married couple, says, "Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring." God created the marriage bond to populate the earth with God-fearing worshipers. Maybe the world will shirk the multiplication command; but Christians should "seize the day," grasping the opportunity afforded by the abortion/birth control craze to fill the world with Christians!
Some may object that reproduction is not the only purpose for marriage. This is obviously true (marriage is also for companionship and ministry, for example), but it is also irrelevant. Multiplication remains one of the purposes for marriage, and the fact that there are other purposes does not negate this one. We must strive to fulfill all of God's aims for making us one flesh.
We should quickly grant that sex is for the pleasure and emotional bonding of the couple as well as for reproduction. But does not the very God-created design of the male and female bodies demonstrate that God intends for pleasure and fruitfulness to be united in the one act? What right have we to separate the aims of pleasure and procreation that God has built into sexual intercourse? Any sex act outside of marriage separates these two ( fornication, prostitution, etc.). On what grounds can they be separated within the marriage? Our dying world seeks pleasure apart from responsibility; hence the increase of birth control and abortion. The safest course for the Christian is always to obey God's command and act in a way that is consistent with his design. God's command supports his design: be fruitful and multiply.
The command to be fruitful is a straightforward precept that speaks directly to the issue of birth control. Following are three principles that, while not directly addressing the issue, have clear implications for it.

Children Are a Tool for Godly Dominion
Let us hear again the first words out of God's mouth to our first parents: "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground" (Genesis 1:28). A couple verses earlier the Trinity had been consulting together: "Then God said, 'Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule...over all the earth'" (v. 26).
Joined in this initial word from the Lord are the dual commands to be fruitful and to rule over the earth; have children and take dominion. God made man in his image, and this means, among other things, that man was made to rule. Just as God rules the universe, so he has delegated to man the responsibility to take dominion over this planet to God's glory. The man, with the help of his wife (Gen. 2:18), was given the assignment of working and taking care of the earth (2:15). Mankind's perpetual job description is to take all the resources of this earth (including human and spiritual resources), apply his labor, and offer the product as worship to God. A stone ax and an oratorio are both a form a taking dominion.
It is clear that there is a vital connection between the "be fruitful" command and the "take dominion" command. Adam would have had a hard time completing God's dominion mandate all by himself, or with just his wife. But God arranged that out of their one flesh union a whole army of additional helpers would arise to assist in the enormous task. That task is far from complete even today, and there is still a need to keep multiplying the number of godly workers.
The original dominion mandate has been supplemented with the mandate of Jesus to make disciples of all the nations, commonly called the Great Commission (Matt. 28:18-20). Jesus now has "all authority in heaven and on earth" (v. 18), and under his dominion Christians are called to take the kingdom of God to every nation. It is only through the gospel of Jesus Christ that men can produce the dominion results that are pleasing to God; disciples implement the will of God as they obey everything he has commanded (v. 20).
Christians have been forgetting the most important means of seeing the Great Commission fulfilled: multiplying godly offspring. If a man has six children who each have six, and so forth through the generations, and if he trains them to be disciples of Jesus, that man will be the patriarch of a godly clan of 1,300 great-great grandchildren! If there were only two children per generation, the "clan" would consist of only 32 people. Would you rather confront your enemy with an army of 32 or 1,300?
Part of the reason Christians are hesitant to have children is their fear that they will not grow up to be Christians. What if a man ended up with 1,300 pagans as posterity? This fear is encouraged by a common view that how our kids turn out is a matter of chance. This lie is a denial of Proverbs 22:6 and of God's consistent promise to bless faithfulness. The only question is whether we will be faithful in raising the children for the Lord.
We need to regain the biblical perspective on children. They are arrows in the battle for godly dominion in this world (Psalm 127:4,5). Why would we want to "control" the birth of these image-bearers of God, these workers, these warriors in the battle of the ages? We ought to desire as many as the Lord should choose to give us! Which brings us to the next theme of Scripture we want to consider.

God Alone Gives Children And Witholds Children
"Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him" (Psalm 127:3) The most abundantly documented truth in the Bible concerning children is that they come from God as his gift and that he, and he alone, has the privilege of giving and withholding children.
The story of Jacob's wives Rachel and Leah (and their handmaids) is an account of the Lord opening and closing the womb as he chooses—and this in the midst of human finagling to control the process of birth! (Genesis 29:31-30:24) When it was all said and done, Jacob would speak of his sons as "the children God has graciously given" (33:5). Refer also in this connection to these passages: Gen. 16:2; 20:18; 48:9; Lev. 20:20,21; Jdg. 13:3,24; Ruth 4:13; 1 Sam. 1:5,11,19,20; Job 42:12,13; Is. 8:18; Lk. 1:7,24,25.
In condemning his unfaithful people in Ezekiel 16:20-21, God says, "And you took your sons and daughters whom you bore to me and sacrificed them as food for idols....You slaughtered my children...." Our children are God's children. That ought to affect how we view conception and birth. God gives children and so they are his!
It is part of the arrogant presumption of our age that men and women believe they can control the process of conception and birth. Yet how many have we known who have become pregnant despite efforts to avoid it, or who have "decided" to have children only to find that they cannot conceive? God still opens and closes the womb, and he is still better at family planning than we are.
Who are we to presume that we know when a new human being should be born. Children are not trifles; they are eternal beings who have a purpose and significance in God's hands that we cannot even imagine. What audacity to think that we have sufficient wisdom to decide if and when another should begin his eternal sojourn! The Bible does not even hint that such a decision belongs in the hands of man; it is God's prerogative alone.
Children Are a Blessing
"Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table. Thus is the man blessed who fears the Lord" (Psalm 128:3,4).
Since God wants a marriage to result in multiplying children, since children are the necessary means to taking dominion, since it is God's prerogative to give and withhold children, it is not surprising to find that the Bible consistently teaches that children are a blessing. How could they be viewed otherwise? Not having children was considered a serious deprivation of blessing (and at times an actual curse) and the barren woman in Scripture invariably seeks relief from her condition. (Gen. 11:30; 15:2; 30:1; Jdg. 13:2; 1 Sam. 1:2; 2 Sam. 6:23; 2 Ki. 4:14; Hos. 9:11; Lk. 1:7; 20:29)
Only a people who lose God's perspective on life would come to see children as a burden, and that is where we have come in Western society. We have already mentioned how this anti-child feeling has crept into the church. Those who see children as a burden or a curse want to limit or eliminate them; hence birth control and abortion. Those who see them as God's blessing want all that God chooses to give them, and they receive them with joy and thanksgiving. Why would anyone choose to deprive himself of God's blessing?

Birth Control Is Severely Judged
While the term "birth control" is not mentioned in the Bible there is one example of its practice (this provides us with a pattern to be avoided): "Then Judah said to Onan, 'Lie with your brother's wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother.' But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in the Lord's sight; so he put him to death also" (Gen. 38:8-10).
Onan had an obligation, later codified in the Mosaic Law (Deut. 25:5,6), to give his dead brother's wife a child to carry on the name of the deceased and inherit his land and goods. He refused this obligation by practicing a form of birth control. His goal was to prevent his brother from having an heir, and his method succeeded as well as if he had murdered the heir. God killed him for his sin.
Did God punish Onan for his refusal to fulfill his brotherly responsibility, for practicing birth control by wasting his seed, or both? The text does not precisely identify for us the "what" that was so "wicked in the Lord's sight." We know Onan sinned by refusing to father a child for his sister-in-law. We know he sinned by enjoying sexual relations with her and appearing to fulfill his duty without actually fulfilling it. Do we know what God thinks of the act of spilling his seed on the ground—taking the act apart from its context? We cannot separate the act from its context in Onan's case.
Given all that we have seen in the Scripture about the purpose of the sexual act and God's view of children, it is entirely reasonable to conclude that Onan's act of birth control was itself an abomination deserving God's wrath. However, this account does not provide an iron-clad answer to the question. A "reasonable" conclusion is not by itself the basis for an absolute rule of conduct.
While the Onan incident is not the airtight anti-birth-control case that some writers make it out to be, it may well indicate God's hatred of such acts, and it is at least consistent with the rest of Scripture which offers absolutely nothing to encourage the practice of birth control.

Dealing With Doubts and Fears
Taking together all the relevant teachings of Scripture we are left with the conclusion that we should let God do our family planning. He will open and close the womb as it serves his inscrutable purposes, and we should accept with joyful thanksgiving all the children with which he chooses to bless us.
Easier said than done! Letting the Lord plan the family size is a frightful prospect for most who come to believe it is the right way to go. It is not easy to overcome years, yes perhaps generations, of conditioning. And how do you answer family members or church friends who asks, "How are you planning to provide for all those children? Where will you get money for college, for goodness sake?" Then there is the matter of your emotional health. How many children can you handle before you crack? Safe to say, most of us are full of doubts and fears as we contemplate letting God plan our families.
To help us here we need to consider yet one more teaching of Scripture: the doctrine of providence. "Providence"—the word sounds sort of austere and vaguely holy; what help does it give us? Noah Webster's 1828 dictionary defines the word in part as "the care and superintendence which God exercises over his creatures....A belief in divine providence is a source of great consolation to good men." Our problem is that we have been so infected with the spirit of the age that we often no longer believe the simple truth: God is in complete control of us, and he is good, so we can rest in his loving care. (Matt. 6:25-34; 7:7-12; Phil. 4:19; Rom. 8:28,32)
If we doubt that God is going to provide for us and our children then we will be afraid. If we doubt that he will give us the grace necessary to adapt to each new child, then we will panic. If we doubt that he will give us the wisdom we need to raise all the children he sends, then we will fear.
We need to learn to see our lives in God's hands and get over our delusions of self-determination and self-sufficiency. We do not provide for our families—God does. We cannot control the future—God does.
We must identify and confess the unbelief that infects our hearts. Let's just tell God the truth: we are afraid to let go of our "control" of the number of children we have because we do not trust him to give us what we need materially and emotionally. We are afraid that he will not take care of us. Isn't that what it boils down to? We simply need to trust God.
Your loving Father would never give you a child without also giving you what you need to raise that child for him. He sees every bird that falls. He knows the number of the hairs on your head. He will care for you and the children he gives you. "A belief in divine providence is a source of great consolation to good men."

Abstinence and Stewardship
Is there any room for the exercise of stewardship and human responsibility in the matter of conception and birth? What about the man who fully embraces the Lord's plan to multiply godly offspring but believes that a measure of spacing between children is best for his wife's long-term capacity to have many children? (He could even point to the apparent design of God to space children through the natural inhibition that nursing is to pregnancy.)
The easy answer is: "No, these folks just have to trust God like everybody else. No exceptions." It is true, of course, that there are no exceptions to the rule that we must trust the Lord in the matter of having children. But could trust and a limited exercise of control be compatible?
We must be very careful that in our desire to return the people of God to holy living we do not become Pharisees. That is, we have to be very sure that we do not add our rules to the Word of God and bind one another's consciences by these man-made rules. God says, "Be fruitful." That we can enjoin on one another. But can we tell a brother with seven children he is sinning because he avoids pregnancy for six months after the latest birth?
Of course, this raises the question of methods of birth control. Let's quickly dismiss them all insofar as they physically alter the body (pill, IUD, sterilization, etc.) or physically block the man's seed and make it ineffective or kill it (condom, diaphragm, foam, etc.).
But what of temporary abstinence from sexual relations? This practice is required (Lev. 18:19) or approved (1 Cor. 7:5) for other reasons in Scripture. Might it be acceptable for a man and woman to agree for a limited time to forego sexual relations during the woman's fertile time of the month? Might that degree of stewardship in the process of conception and birth be compatible with a genuine desire for fruitfulness and joyful acceptance of all the children God sends?
Periodic abstinence is not part of the birth control game which separates the pleasure and procreative potential of sex. It is simply choosing not to have sex at a particular time; and there does not appear to be a biblical requirement for sexual relationships on some schedule. The couple is sovereign over when they engage in the practice (keeping 1 Cor. 7:3-5 in mind).
The key here is the heart attitude of the couple. They must not be avoiding fruitfulness in their marriage (regular abstinence on a long-term basis to avoid pregnancy would be wrong). They must be ready to accept a child as God's gift if he overrules their attempt at timing; they must acknowledge their limited perspective and willingly yield to whatever God does in their lives.
Any attempt to pronounce such abstinence "sin" would appear to be a Pharisaic extreme. (It is not more holy to be stricter than God; that is sin.) Since abstinence is acceptable for other uses, since the couple is not blocking God's design for sex, and since they are yielding to God's planning of their family and are not attempting to disobey his command to be fruitful, then the practice is not prohibited by biblical precept or principle.

Hard Cases
Much more difficult to discuss is the occasional "hard case" wherein, for example, the wife almost dies in birth and is counseled by a doctor against getting pregnant again. Her husband, as an act of protection for his wife and an exercise of dominion over her health and his family's future, chooses to avoid pregnancy. Is this acceptable, or is this sin?
The following principles would seem to apply:
1) God is still in charge, and none of his children will die apart from his will. Doctors have often declared pregnancy life-threatening only to be proven wrong by a normal healthy delivery the next time around. It is not a foolish act to entrust oneself to a loving Father in the face of medical advice to the contrary. (Many physicians consider having more than two or three children foolish and find it easy to recommend avoiding pregnancy.) How much of God's mighty works on our behalf do we never receive because we don't take the "risks" that call forth his special grace?
2) God does have special grace for women in the process of bearing children. "But women shall be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love with sanctity with self-restraint" (1 Tim. 2:15). The battle for the man and his wife may be in balancing medical counsel and God's promises.
3) Any measure of "control" the couple seek to exercise should be through abstinence (as above). Measures that alter the body or render the sex act sterile are never appropriate. By submitting to God's plan for sexual relations the couple will be within God's will and will be open to his plan if he should choose to overrule their efforts.
4) The couple must have a humble heart that is ready to acknowledge that any decision of theirs may be wrong and the Lord has a better way. If there is fear in their hearts, they should confess it and ask for grace to trust him and wisdom to know how he wants them to proceed.
There may be some cases where it appears that the commands to be fruitful and to take dominion are hard to reconcile. A man should always be skeptical of his wisdom and his ability to control his or his wife's life; yet he may conclude that he ought to try to avoid pregnancy to protect her. Surely no one else can judge that choice as sin even though there may be hidden sin in his motivation. As long as his outward conduct conforms to the Word of God, the rest of us should assume the best about his motivation and give him support, not condemnation.

Conclusion
It seems to this writer that God's Word is very clear. Christians should not partake of the world's birth-control mindset. They should embrace God's plan for marriage, including the procreative purpose of sex, and joyfully accept as blessings all the children that God sends them. Further, they should develop the long range vision that sees children as the means to advance the kingdom of Christ and defeat his enemies. The more children he gives, the better. They know that God is a loving Father who will provide for every child of his.
Within this larger framework the practice of periodic, temporary abstinence from sexual relationships is an acceptable exercise of godly stewardship in the process of building a family. Such a stewardship of the process of conception must be utilized very cautiously, however. The couple would have to examine themselves closely to be sure they are not resisting God's plan for children nor giving in to a spirit of doubt and fear. They will be judged by the Lord in this, but they should not be judged by others.
The bottom line is this: to the extent that Christians embrace a biblical view of marriage and children the people of God will grow greatly in numbers over the next couple of generations. Meanwhile the lovers of death in our culture will commit collective suicide through birth control and abortion.
As usual, the real question is whether Christians will do things God's way or the world's way.
How about you? Don't you like the thought of your 1,300 great-great grandchildren gathering to honor the memory of the godly patriarch who founded their Christian clan? It seems like that would please the Lord, too!

What Wearing Dresses Looks Like Everyday

What does "wearing dresses only" look like in real life? Do women really wear "dresses only" and can they really live in dresses only?Here are some views and a closer look at the "dresses only" lives of real women---really living and really working today.
Through the Week in Feminine Dress with Mrs.Chancey
A look at one sister's current dresses
Another family shares pictures of a "week in dresses"(This, from the Ladies Against Feminism site)
Dressing Modest and Feminine is Fun
Getting Used To Dresses
Catherine's Week in Dresses
This page is full of helps and encouragement for you to live a modest, feminine life. Please bookmark this page for future reference as these articles will really help you in your desire to dress in a feminine and modest manner.

The What & Why Of Modesty & Feminine Apparel

What is Modesty and why is it so important for the Christian woman to understand, dress & behave modestly? Modesty is the voluntary personal responsibility to behave & dress in such a manner as to not purposely draw attention to oneself, to not think proudly of oneself and it's a decision to protect from purposeful or "unintended" enticement in inappropriate ways & places. This is crucial for a Christian woman; first and foremost because we're representatives of the LORD Jesus Christ and secondly, if we're married, we're a reflection of our husband's. It's critical to pay attention to the message and the signal our clothing is sending and to make sure, very sure, that the message is in line with the Word of God. If style & type of clothing is something you're wrestling over in your mind, or if you're feeling convicted about dress, and what in this world should a Christian woman be wearing, then pray, discuss these things with your husband. Many will have ideas and convictions about what *you* should wear, but what matters most is what the LORD is directing and what your husband prefers.
Pray together & examine what you're wearing each day and why!

Discovering God's Plan For Your Life by Rebecca Knox

God is so good to us! Isn’t He? Jeremiah 29:11-13 says, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart."
Notice in this passage that the Lord says that He has an "expected" end for us. God has a very special plan for each and every single one of us. Unfortunately, most people go through life never knowing what that plan is. They never realize what it is that the Lord intended them to be. Their lives become a twisted, distorted, and perverted remnant of what it was originally meant to be. Inside each and every single human being, God has placed specific, purposeful gifts and talents, but most people never discover what all of those wonderful things are because they do not know who they are in Christ Jesus. Even those of us who know and love the Lord, too often do not take the time or effort to find out who we really are in Him! We walk around with the emotional and spiritual equivalents of filthy rags, begging for quarters when the Lord wants to give us His Kingdom!
How do we find out who we are in Christ and what all of these wonderful gifts and talents are? And how on earth do we learn to use them and implement them into our daily lives?! If we go back to our scripture reference (Jeremiah 29:11-13) we will notice that the Lord says that if we will call upon Him and pray unto Him....that He will hearken unto us, and that if we will seek Him and search for Him with our whole heart.....we will find Him.
That is the secret! God will not turn His back on those who diligently seek after Him and His will for their lives! Are you seaching for God and His will for your life with your whole heart? Or have you gotten to the point that you are so full of yourself that it makes you sick and you want to do something different, but you don’t know what that thing is? If so....I would like to encourage you today. Begin by praying. Lay it all out to God. Confess your sins to Him and ask His forgiveness. Then.....leave it there! Don’t complicate things by, first, asking forgiveness, then picking everything back up again and hanging on to it! 1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." After you have received the Lord’s forgiveness, move forward and begin to take positive steps toward growing in Him. Here are few suggestions to get you started.
#1 Immerse yourself in His Word. As you read pray and ask the Lord to open your spiritual eyes and ears enabling you to see and hear all that He has available to you.
#2 Put on the garment of praise! Praise God continually for all of the wonderful things that He has done for you thus far and for all of the things that He is doing in your life right now and for all of the wonderful things that He has planned for you and is going to do in the future. Rehearse the good things that He has done for you in the past over and over in your heart and mind. Never take what the Lord has done for you in the past for granted and don’t ever forget it either!
#3 Ask the Lord to give you wisdom and teach you the things that you need to know. He will do it! James 1:5 says, "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God....and it shall be given him."
#4 Get into a good, Bible-believing church where the fruits of the spirit are evident. Those fruits are "love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness [kindness], goodness, faith [faithfulness], meekness, and temperance [self-control]." (Galatians 5:22-23)
#5 Ask the Lord to show you what you can do for Him. We are not to sit by idly and do nothing! The Word says that we are to be "...doers of the word, and not hearers only..." It says that if we choose to only hear the Word, and not practice what it teaches, then we are only "deceiving" ourselves. (James 1:22)
#6 Pray...pray...pray! Prayer is your communication line with God. The Lord knows every single thing about you...every word, every thought, every deed, every hurt. There is nothing about you that He doesn’t already know, but, as His child, He still expects you to talk to Him and share with Him all that is on your heart and mind. If you don’t know how to pray....learn! Look up scriptures on prayer in the Bible and study them. Talk to your pastor or read up on the subject. There are many good books available on prayer!
These suggestions are just to get you started and head you in the right direction. My prayer for you today is that the Lord will begin to work a mighty work within your heart at this very moment! I pray that you will begin to seek God with your whole heart and that, as you do, you would become keenly aware of what His special plan for your life is and that you would learn to walk in that plan. There is no need of you going through life lost, hurt, or confused any longer! God has a perfect, magnificant plan for your life! It is time for you to stop wandering around from one thing to another and to start walking in all of the wonderful things that He has planned just for you!

Courtship Stories

(Note: I do not agree with the touching that they did, but they are good stories, but just remember the Bible says it is good for a man Not to touch a woman and I do not agree with being alone together, unless you are married, b/c there too many temptations of the flesh.)
ylcf.org/courtship-stories/
Dating vs. Courtship - 1 -Nathan Bailey
Dating vs. Courtship - 2 -Nathan Bailey
Dating vs. Courtship - 3 -Nathan Bailey
Dating vs. Courtship - 4 -Nathan Bailey
Dating vs. Courtship - 5/6 -Nathan Bailey
Dating vs. Courtship - 7 -Nathan Bailey
Dating vs. Courtship - 8 -Nathan Bailey

The Dangers of ...Dating -Philip Lancaster

The Courtship Connection: thecourtshipconnection.com
Articles:
christiancourtship.com/html/resources.html
Castleberry Farms Press
pressenter.com/~cbfarmpr/index.html

A Wedding Time Poem

Courtship and then...
A Beautiful Wedding!

A humble cottage 'neath the hill,
Where children laugh and romp
at will –With parents' tender love
and care,How could their lives be
else than fair?Oh, let them all be
glad to-day,For swift the years
will pass away,And when they're
women grown, and men,'Twill
never be the same again.The
wedding bells may sweetly ring
,And glory be on everything;But
when one leaves the dear home nest,
'Tis lonelier for all the rest.And if they
one by one shall leave,How can the
parents help but grieve?All come and
go, and love – but then,'Tis never q
uite the same again.Ah, well! Perhaps
'tis better so, That deeper meanings
we may know.There is no loss, no grief,
no pain,That may not bring its own
sweet gain;And in that blessed land above,
There'll be again one home, one love,
Then one in heart, and one in name,
At last 'twill ever be the same.

-Mrs. Frank A. Breck

God's Boxes

I have in my hands two boxes,
Which God gave me to hold. He
said, "Put all your sorrows in the black
box, And all your joys in the gold."
I heeded His words, and in the two boxes,
Both my joys and sorrows I stored,But though
the gold became heavier each day,The black
was as light as before.With curiosity, I opened
the black,I wanted to find out why,And I saw,
in the base of the box, a hole,Which my sorrows
had fallen out by.I showed the hole to God, and
mused,"I wonder where my sorrows could be!"
He smiled a gentle smile and said,"My child,
they're all here with me."I asked God, why He
gave me the boxes,Why the gold and the black
with the hole?"My child, the gold is for you to
count your blessings,The black is for you to let go."

Two Shall Become One-Jennifer's Story

Resting in the Lord :Jennifer's Story
Can God find husbands for our daughters?" This question was addressed to us at a home-schooling meeting in which the topic of my newly begun courtship had been brought up. And yet, this is a question for many. What is the biblical standard for our children in finding marriage partners? Is what the world has to offer in the modern dating scene our only choice, or is there a better way? Does God’s Word have anything to say about the issue?
From the time I was very young my parents were praying for my future spouse. Many nights I can remember awakening to the sight of my Father kneeling beside my bed in prayer for me; for my walk with the Lord and God’s leading for my life. These sights make a deep impression on a little girl’s heart. As I grew up, there was an understanding that when it came time for me to date, that the prospective young man had to "interview with my father first". The closer I got to this age the more serious this became. But, is that the extent of interaction a father should have in a situation as this? What was the proper way? Throughout the years the principles of courtship were brought home to our hearts through various different resources. My parents in their godly desire to protect me from the deadly temptations of the world sought for a better way. They did not want me to be subjected to the extreme pressures and snares that dating can bring. In addition to this- does a godly woman who desires to trust God with her very life need to be out "looking" for a spouse or can God providentially, sovereignly direct in bringing her a husband?
I desired this protection from my parents and earnestly longed to keep my heart pure for that one for whom God was preparing me. With this as our desire, my father and I signed a covenant the summer of 1992. My father committing to protect me from unqualified young men and I in response desiring to follow the Lord under His authority in this area of courtship. These convictions had been forming for quite a while and were to continue to deepen.
During the next couple of years outwardly it seemed as though there was not much happening in regard to this area. In fact, when I looked around, the possibilities for a husband seemed to be very few and there were many times that I was tempted to distrust and despair. Yet, I knew that this was the right path and I could trust in my Heavenly Father. Indeed, unknown to us, God was at work in a mighty way. For God was in a marvelous way bringing His perfect will to pass. Miles away in a town in North Carolina there was a young man who also earnestly desired the Lord’s direction in the area of marriage. Steven had tried the modern dating practice, only to find it full of disappointments and vanity. In his heart he yearned for a better way. "There must be a father somewhere desiring to protect his daughter", was the thought of his heart. He prayerfully sought the Lord for direction in his life.
Meanwhile, unknown to Steven, a close friend of his also looking for a spouse had heard of our family through two different sources over a period of a couple of years. This friend decided to write my father to request permission to correspond with me with the intent of marriage. Knowing the importance of such a decision, my father requested that he might get to know this young man better via correspondence. This eventually led to a visit to Texas on His part and several personal meetings. All of this was unknown to me. When Steven found out about it and that his friend was corresponding with a father regarding his daughter, his heart was overjoyed, as he saw indeed there was another way. Throughout the course of the time my parents spent with the would-be courter, it was determined that there was not that fitness between the young man and I that was so essential in a marriage. This young man earnestly desired my best and the Lord’s will. He very graciously understood my parents decision in not allowing us to meet. In fact, while he was in Texas, the Lord was impressing upon his heart the tremendous like-mindedness between our family and Steven. He went home with a burden upon his heart for his friend to inquire unto my father.
I will never forget the night in which my parents told me of the courtship inquiry of this first young man. How my heart was filled with excitement at the thought of the Lord bringing forth someone I had never even met from halfway across the country, to inquire about me. And even though it had not worked out with this particular young man, I knew God could and would work if it was His good pleasure concerning me. I knew there was a possibility of another inquiry from this young man’s friend, but greatly desired my heart to be at rest with the Lord’s will. I waited patiently for His timing and remained patiently sleeping in this area, until He was pleased to awaken me. It was truly my desire to remain as neutral as possible that I might keep my heart only for that one that the Lord had for me.
Steven’s friend did return home and came to him strongly urging him to write to my family. After much prayer and contemplation, he did indeed inquire of my father regarding courtship, trusting his steps unto the Lord. Upon receiving the letter, my parents sent him a response consisting of about 25 questions concerning himself, his beliefs and walk with the Lord. These were questions that my parents and I had sat down and composed due to the seriousness of these steps. They were very serious and weighty questions and I knew that they could possibly scare him away, yet, this was of such great importance that they were altogether necessary. For how can two walk together except they agree? I also could be assured that if this was the one that the Lord had for me, He would give him the diligence to persevere. Again, during this waiting period was a time in which I needed to lay my heart before the Lord, knowing that He was indeed in control. It was an exciting time and yet I wanted to rest in His will.
Steven responded with a 90 minute audio tape, which my parents listened to. I did not listen to it, (although my parents shared his responses with me) due to the desire to remain "unattached", for even with the hearing of a voice the heart can go out. To my great surprise, my parents were very encouraged with his responses. My Father then called Steven and spoke with him by phone for 2 hours. At this point the groundwork was nearly laid and my parents felt as though they knew him. They invited him to come to Texas to personally meet them and if all went well, to meet me. Steven had just taken time off work and did not know if he could come until fall. (This was June!) But, it was left that he would see what he could work out. This also was a time of soul searching for Steven as this was a setting of his feet on a path in a more committed way than a dating scenario. For the next few weeks correspondence was exchanged between my parents and Steven. My mother wrote a long letter to him " from a mother’s heart", she said. In the letter she shared with Steven about me, my likes, dislikes, hobbies, interests and those things that were dear and important to my heart. And so, even though we were not having direct communication we were learning more about each other every day through the correspondence he and my parents were having.
One evening in June, Steven called my parents to say that the way had opened up for him to come two weeks from that evening. We were all delighted and eagerly looked forward to the day. The arrangement was that my parents would pick Steven up at the airport and spend a few hours with him. If all went well, they were planning on bringing him home for dinner which my sister and I were to prepare. In my heart, I still knew that it would have to be the Lord for it to all work out and so I really desired to remain neutral. I knew that my parents desired the very best for me, and wanted to protect me. They knew me better than anyone else and what I needed and desired in a husband, and so I knew I could rest in their wisdom. For had not they diligently, and lovingly raised me, caring for me like no other could?
My mother called from a pay phone from the restaurant where they were. Oh, how excited she was! She said that from the moment Steven got off the plane, they could see our tremendous like-mindness and fitness, and that they were bringing him home. I knew this was not a light step for my parents, whose desire was to protect me, and so their thoughts and decisions held great weight for me. It was at this point that the flood of reality began to set in. I was soon to be meeting a man who might very well be my future husband. I nervously set about finishing preparations for their arrival, stirring the spaghetti and watching timidly out the window...As they drove up, the significance of this was laid upon Steven’s heart as well, for "Could this be his wife that he was about to meet?"
The first thing I noticed as they stepped out of the car, was Steven’s big smile. I timidly and very nervously went out to greet them. My little brother had already run ahead and made himself quite comfortable with the situation. As I walked outside, my father introduced me to Steven and Steven to me. I responded with a quiet "how do you do," and then hastened back to stirring my spaghetti. As I finished dinner preparations, I noticed my little brother had immediately claimed his place upon the lap of my inquirer and was enjoying hearing the story Steven had started to read him.
Throughout the evening, my nervousness began to abate and we had a pleasant time as a family together. We ate dinner, took a family walk, and ended our evening with family worship. The next day (Saturday) was again spent as a family getting to know Steven. But it was on the Lord’s Day, as again we were as a family, that we saw more fully our like-mindedness. As we would each share what was dear to the others' heart, it became very apparent how fitted we were each to the other. Steven was to fly home that Monday. So, on Monday morning my father and Steven had a meeting together. These Monday morning meetings were to become a regular part of our courtship and hold a special place in the hearts of my father and Steven. Before their meeting, though, my father asked me privately if I would like him to give Steven permission to begin courting me. I told him that I felt that that would be fine. Before Steven left that afternoon, we both had about an hour together outside (under the full view of all ), during which we spoke on some areas that were each very important to us. As Steven left that day, we both were overwhelmed and full of wonder. We had fast become friends, and parting was difficult. In my heart I was filled with awe. It was apparent that the Lord was doing something. And yet, I wanted to be sure I was following the "Lord’s" will and not my own.
Steven began writing and calling often after that. In our first conversation, via the telephone, we both agreed that our desire was that our courtship would be based upon the things of the Lord and not of the flesh. We desired our relationship to be spiritual first and not solely emotional attraction. For the feelings often come and go, but the things of the Spirit are lasting and the sure foundation. We knew that our question needed to be, "Could we serve God better together than apart?" And so therefore, much of our conversation centered around the spiritual, and in this way we were able to see the heart of the other.
Those next few months were full of much prayer for direction and leading. Having never been through the courtship process before, we had many questions as we went along as to the "next step", but the Lord faithfully led us. What a blessing it was to be under my parents and to see Steven’s desire to be under them as well. How thankful we were to be able to ask of them and rest in their wisdom and direction. Those courtship days will always be sweet to our memory. Because of the emphasis on the family in the courtship process, my family grew to love Steven as one of them. When the phone would ring, everyone wanted to be the first to talk to Steven before me. :-) It was a blessing to see their delight in my courter. We spent many, many hours on the phone together, and then I would delightfully share with my family (who were eagerly waiting) of our conversation. Steven came for weekend visits frequently, as well.
We all knew the importance of not being unchaperoned, in our desire for a relationship of purity. My family greatly enjoyed serving us during that time, and accommodating our courtship in this way. For example: a picnic on the lawn and a candlelight dinner for two, complete with corsage, boutonniere, and a personal waiter (my father). Those were indeed special times as my whole family, and Steven and I enjoyed God’s working in our lives. For me, it was a very searching and sobering time as well. Entreating the Lord, that "His" will and not mine be done. Throughout the time of courtship, the Lord made it increasingly clear that He had brought us together. He who brought Eve to Adam, had indeed seen fit to place us here together, to walk hand in hand in this earthly pilgrimage.
On November 21, 1994 Steven proposed to me, after consulting with my father. What a blessed time that was, as we confirmed before each other that the Lord had brought us together. Both families were overjoyed. We were married before the Lord and a wonderful company of family and friends on April 28, 1995. It was a wonderful time of rejoicing.
We will soon be celebrating our 1 year anniversary. We can look back on the first year of our marriage as a time of great kindness from our God. What sweet fellowship we have been able to have one with the other. There have been trials, as in every marriage, but, our God is faithful and has abounded to us in a blessed way. Being married to your best friend is a delight and joy. We desire to have our Saviour at the center of our lives. We each know that the other is but an earthly comfort. And we seek to walk with our eyes toward eternity, knowing that one day we will be called to part in this life and meet with our eternal bridegroom, the Lord Jesus Christ. He is our true Beloved and Friend. ~*~
- Jennifer Moline Ervin
Printed here with permission from Jennifer Ervin
Please visit her parent's outstanding website: Sower's Seed Christian Reprints
http://members.aol.com/SowersSeed/

Wedding Vows by S.M. Davis

If you (man) and you (woman) have freely and deliberately chosen each other as partners
for life, would you please join right hands.

(Man) in taking the woman whom you hold by the right hand to be your lawful and wedded wife, do you pledge to her your complete loyalty, devotion, love, & affection; and do you pledge to give special honor to her as unto the weaker vessel; to dwell with her according to knowledge and understanding; and forsaking all others, to keep only to her lest you sin against God and blaspheme His Holy name?

(Woman) in taking this man who holds you by the right hand, do you pledge to him your complete loyalty, devotion, love, and affection; will you strive to be a crown to his life and acknowledge him gladly as the head of your home, and forsaking all others, to keep only to him lest you sin against God and blaspheme His holy name?


And do you both solemnly swear that you will never seek to end this marriage in a Court of Law by divorce?

We Do!


VOWS:

(Man)
“I, _______________ take thee, ____________________, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better...for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and give myself for you, as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself for it; to protect and praise you.....til by God by death alone do us part.”



(Woman)
“I, _________________, take thee ________________ to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better...for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and submit, as the church is subject unto Christ; to obey and reverence...til God by death alone do us part.”

My Personal Testimony

When I was about 6, my dad and I visited Southwest Baptist Church. My dad liked it so we joined (note: my dad thought he was saved) and became members. And what was soooo amazing was that my dad, who thought he was aved at the time, made me wear dresses and skirts all the time. I couldn't watch anything unless he approved and it was rated G. I couldn't listen to anything, but Christ-honoring music (no contemporary stuff). And other things as well. And I couldn't understand why we did not do those worldly things that others did. Well, when I was 7, I asked Christ to be my Savior, but was I sincere, I don't think so. So, when I was 13, I was sitting in the auditorium, on a Sunday morning, listening to guest preacher preach about how real hell was. It was either Charles elliot or Ron Comfort who preached it. But all of a sudden, I realized I wasn't for sure if I was even saved. So, during the invitation, I went and talked with Mrs. Kim Hawn, who at that time was my homeschool teacher and her husband was the youth pastor of our youth group at Southwest Baptist Church. And she told me if I was for sure that I was lost and wanted to get saved then to come talk to her on Thursday at school. Well, I was for sure I was headed for hell and I wanted to get saved so I went and talked with Mrs. Kim on Thursday. She showed me Scripture and explained it all to me. And I asked Christ into my heart. Now, a year later after that sadly I can't say I was doing right. I got saved 10-18-01. I left in November 6, 2002 to go up to Michigan to visit b/c my mom's dad was dying of cancer, but instead of just visiting, I ended up living there with my mom. So , while living there I started living wrong and doing things that were wrong, I was not serving God or doing right. I did things that I will be scarred with for the rest of my life. I wasn't really happy there, but I wanted a taste of the world, and let me tell you it doesn't satisfy. It was all in vain. Everything in the world is vanity. While I was gone living with my mom, my dad got saved in October of 2003. Well, while I was gone God really worked on his heart. And he made a way for my dad to come up and get me in June of 2004. When I found out my dad had come to get me I wasn't glad he was there, but God knew what was best for me and I didn't. It took a while for me to change when I got back home to my dad's. I had started wearing pants at my mom's , so when I first got back to my dad's that's what I wore, except for when we went to church. My dad was not gonna force me to wear dresses all the time, he was ging to just let God deal with me and my heart. So, one day I went to the mall ,while wearing pants and a Heartland Baptist Bible College student who was working in the shoe department of a department store(Dillard's) happend to notice my friend who was with me and waved at us and so we stopped to talk to him(I was embarressed because I was wearing pants) . And I knew his wife! After that I stopped wearing them only b/c of embarrasment(this was late of 2004). Well, the next year in 2005 in April, God started doing a work on me. I started asking God to give me the kind of friends He wanted me to have that were godly. And He brought me godly friends who wanted to serve Him andto do right and be pleasing to Him. And then I asked Him to show me the kind of clothes He would want me to wear and wearing dresses have become my conviction and it is based on the Bible, also. And God just started changing me. Now , I have godly standards and morals. I try to do everything by what the Bible says. To act , dress, talk, and do right. To be pleasing to God. And, yes I do have high standards. I will not lower them for anyone and I shouldn't have to.I want nothing, but God's best for my life. I am not big on slits either. If you question this and don't understand, go to the Bible preaching link in the links and listen to S.M Davis's sermon on the Language Of A Christian's Clothing and his other sermons, then you will understand. A woman is not supposed to wear what pertaineth to a man. No pair of pants ifs feminine,there is still a figure showing, and others notice your figure. If it is an abomination for men to wear what pertaineth to women then why would it be different for women. Women ought to really embrace their womanhood and stop trying to be like men. The Bible says we ought to adorn theirselves in modest apparel. Some may say it is a preference, not a conviction, but it really is a conviction as, well. In the Bible it says woman are to wear a long flowing garment. In the Bible pants were for men. When it says girt up your loins, it's talking about when a man has to run or work to tuck his robe in his belt. A man's robe looked nothing like a woman's long flowing garment. It was made specifically for a man, just like pants were. But, women thought that they should be like man and be treated equal and have the same opportunities and basically be a she-man. But in doing so women won't really know true satisfaction or happiness or joy.

Your Body Belongs To God

1 Corinthians 6:15-20

1. Your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost.
2. Your body isn't yours, but you are responsible for it.
3. Your body should be used to glorify God.
4. Your body should be a living sacrifice for God.(Romans 12:1-2

Guidlines for Staying Pure

1. Keep the Golden Rule(Matthew 7:12)
2. Be an example in purity(1 Timothy 4:12)
3. Have a no touch policy.(1 Corinthians 7:1-2)
4. Don't put yourself in tempting situations.(Romans 13:4)
5. Glorify God in your body.(1 Corinthians 6:20)

Ladies. Men. Think About This.

Your Character is the Picture. And Your Appearance is the Frame.


What do you want people to see?
The way you act and dress is a reflection of what is in your heart.
It shows either rebelliousness or godliness and willing to change for Christ and serve Him.

This Paragraph Is For Ladies Only

G-R-O-O-M
E A B F O
N P E F D
D T D E E
E U I N S
R R E S T
- - --E - N - E - Y
- - - - - -C
- - - - -E
Does it expose?:
Is it too short?
Is any area above my knee exposed at any time?(includes slits)
Does my midriff show when I raise my hands above my head?
Does it reveal any part of my chest?(any cleavage is too much)
Is it revealing to much?(sheer fabric,sleeveless,large arm holes)
Can they see any cleavage when I bend over?
Does my midriff or underwear show when I over or lift my arms?
When I move around can I see my bra?
Does my shirt open where buttoned at my chest?

Does it emphasize?:
Is it too tight? (Spring Valley Test)
If someone else were to look at me, where would their eyes go?
Is this drawing attention to private parts of my body?(writing, gathers or lace crisscross at the bust,or rear)
Is this obviously outer wear or could it be seen as lingerie?
Is this discinctly feminine?(something only a woman would wear)
Is the lace or seam of my bra visible through my shirt?
Does the outline of my underwear show?
Is there sufficient padding in my bra so as to not reveal too much?
Is any portion of my undergarments that are visible?